MarriedToME

Hey Girls,

It’s me Marlene. I know over the past few months I have been writing a lot about my own life and some of my experiences to date. Some may ask, what does that have to do with married to me, but believe me it has a lot to do with it. I do this intentionally so you can read my stories and gather some insight into your own life or even if you are in similar situations, you can understand that you are not alone. No matter where you are from, your age, ethnicity or even spiritual beliefs, we all share similar life experiences and hopefully we can be a shoulder for others when needed.

You are beautiful, strong, intelligent, spiritual, a modern day goddess, bold, sexy, sassy, full of life, loved, courageous, powerful, intuitive, and so many more things I could run a list all day. There is no reason for you to put up with someone mistreating you in any way, shape or form. Verbal abuse is equally as bad as physical abuse. Anyone who puts you down and calls you names is so insecure, be assured that is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Remember a man that beats on a woman is just a punk that has issues with himself and women. No real man can ever feel good making his woman feel bad. BOTTOM LINE!!!!!! Look at the women around you that are in relationships. Take note of their appearance and I mean their entire appearance. What they are wearing? Could we nominate them for an episode of What Not to Wear? Do they look happy? What is their hair like? Is it done? How does their face look? Are they wearing make-up? Do they look aged and washed out or do they have a glow that exudes joy? Has their weight been a bit extreme? Rapidly gaining or losing weight? These are telltale signs if someone is being truly loved by their partner. A woman will always be a walking billboard of what she is receiving at home. If her man is uplifting her spirit, taking her needs and desires into consideration, helping with the household duties, children and finances and not leaving everything on her back, she will glow! If she does not, her partner is not lifting her up.

Ladies remember this is a two way street. You must do the same for your partner. They must go into the world feeling like they can take on any battle once they have left your arms. This is why it is so important to marry yourself first. Only when you know who you are can you have the ability to truly uplift another human being. You must learn your likes and dislikes, your abilities and inabilities, your limits, your dreams, your goals, your compromises and your unwilling compromises. What are your core values and morals? What will make you stay and what will send you through the door? All of this has to be in place before you enter into what you feel could be a long lasting, loving relationship that conveys the feeling of freedom.

Too many times we rush to the altar or to that convenient shared living arrangement that ends in ruins. Believe me I have done both things and just was not ready and neither were they. I settled for so much less than I was worth and only ended up compromising my dignity and everything I believed in.

The road back to yourself is quite a journey. It is a process of rebuilding your spirit from the ground up and it will probably be the most challenging experience in your life. You will be forced to look at your ugly self in the mirror and trust me we can get real ugly when we uncover our spirits. The bitterness and hurt, the sadness and anger that is uncovered can knock you to your knees SO PRAY and don’t give up. This experience, this challenge, will be the most rewarding. Everyone has grown up in a dysfunctional family and carries with them into adulthood memories of unfair treatment and abuse of the worse kind. But we have the power to claim that we will not be victim to our past. We can look inside and find the strength to uncover who God has made us to be and understand that this is all apart of the plan to fulfill our destiny.

Written with love, wisdom and understanding,

Marlene