MarriedToME

I guess by now we have all heard about the most embarrassing antics of FORMER Governor Eliot Spitzer. You know the one who spent thousands of dollars on a prostitute while standing on his high horse shutting down Wall Street for the same practices. What a disgrace to NY, himself and most of all, his wife and three daughters. You know what really bothers me? Watching his wife stand next to him as if she feels she needs to be his pillar in such trying times. Have we lost our damn minds? What message are we sending our children and other women when we stand in support of such idiotic, selfish, and embarrassing behavior. My bad, but isn’t it 2008? I thought these were the times when women were strong enough and powerful enough to stand on their own two feet and walk away from such disgusting treatment. Instead as I watched in disgrace I could not imagine why she was not on a beach somewhere in the West Indies sipping margaritas while her lawyers filed the paperwork! Have we really traded our souls that much?

And now, during the aftermath all we see is this young prostitute who is labeled in the media as “the woman who brought the governor down”. Unbelievable! So SHE brought the Governor down. She twisted his arm, held a gun to his head and made him give her thousands of dollars because she so badly had to have sex with him, RIGHT…give me a break! Don’t get me wrong, I am not applauding her behavior, I do believe she is just as guilty and does not deserve to become some heroine for NY, but there is no way I believe she is responsible for his demise. HIS CHOICE, HIS ACTION, HIS BAG…OWN IT!!!!

So as I sit here writing this and watching it still run across the TV screen, I of course think about my own life. Do we have to wait until the guy messes up so bad, or until we get that tangible proof of his indiscretions before we take action? If you are like me, our intuition hits us up way before and the signs come along like highway postings, but more times then not we choose to ignore them because of denial, or we just don’t trust ourselves. I decided not to be embarrassed anymore.

Some moments of embarrassment:

When you are out with your man and he just has to look at her ass…that’s embarrassing!

When he creates arguments with you to have a night out…that’s embarrassing!

When you go to his myspace page and he has “dating” as his reason for being there….that’s embarrassing!

Or even worse blatant let’s hook up comments…really embarrassing!

When he all of a sudden is working late and taking long lunches…that’s embarrassing!

When you know what it all means and still stick around…even more embarrassing!

I am not here saying run, run, run! No man is perfect and no relationship will be. But look at what you are willing to give and be mindful that you are special enough to receive the same treatment. If you are willing to be honest expect honesty, if you are willing to be faithful expect faithfulness, if you are willing to be loving expect love!

Food for Thought!

Marlene

Don’t runaway, do not pick up that cellphone, shhh don’t say a word, do not get in your car and go over there, forget his passwords, just…be still! Probably the hardest most challenging thing we have ever been told to do. We are strong, independent, intelligent, not to mention so darn intuitive it makes me wonder is this a blessing or a curse some days, that we know the answers before the questions, but one of the most harmful things we do to ourselves is move when we are not supposed to. It’s when we let our ego and quest for control force us to make decisions too swiftly and then here we are back at square one or even further behind instead of leaps ahead where God intended us to be. Frustrating right!? Believe me I know, I have done it a million times. Even after I heard this voice in my head saying “no, just don’t do anything right now”, when all the signs around me were saying the same thing and I chose to ignore them. Not anymore, boy have I learned the hard way. Being still taught me my answers will come, justice will be fulfilled, and my decisions will be timely.  So, right now I am still because God said to be and I trust in that voice to be the greatest direction for my life. I trust that nothing I do could ever top what is to come if I remain obedient and just…BE STILL! 

From the conversation of 2 girlsfromBrooklyn,

Marlene and Imari  

Third trimester of pregnancy…I am at peace, living in serenity and feeling the joy of the miracle to come. You might say well she probably has a great marriage, is financially successful and living her dreams right now. Well I would say, not even close, except for living my dreams! Girls let me tell you at 6 months into my pregnancy my relationship basically fell apart, I was not working a steady job and had to wrap my head around the fact that I might once again be a single mother left to raise my son on my own like I did with my daughter. No easy task, as I am sure all you single moms out there already know. You know what’s funny I always wanted the dream wedding, the fantasy relationship and the miracle family but somehow it just never turned out that way, YET! I made decisions that strayed away from who I was as a person and ALWAYS paid dearly for them in the end. At this time in my life I have chosen to not only learn the lesson but understand that happiness is a choice and that everyone has their own journey. We truly cannot be judgmental and expect more than we can give. And most importantly we have to set values for ourselves before someone comes along and treats us like crap then we want to turn around and say “you can’t do that to me!”  I decided that no matter what, my joy would never be stolen even in the midst of the storm. I love my life, I know that I am truly blessed and feel my power, even when apart of me has every right to say “FU you idiot for making such selfish decisions and screwing up my life!” Of course this is hand in hand with screaming and hailing dishes across the room. Something we would never do again…right? Because life is short and so is beauty. Don’t give that away either!

I realize now that staying committed to myself allowed me to separate another person’s journey from my own and not take everything so personal even when it seems like our dreams are crashing in front of us. So here I am, still trying to work things out in my relationship, separate but together in child, and watching my stomach grow to the size of a small planet, but this time, with a huge smile in my heart because I have stayed true to myself the whole way. Not to mention, shopping my ass off for my son and picking up small goodies for myself because a little baby weight will never get me out of my fabulous red stilettos and black pencil skirt. Stay up sisters because we are awesomely fierce when we do not loose our power. And I so see that now!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for the after party;)

Much Love,

The Preggy Babe….

Marlene