MarriedToME

Hey lovely ladies,

I have expanded the site on Facebook and it is completely amazing! The response is huge and women are pouring in from all over the country. The site exudes positivity and is loaded with information, blogs, stories, daily affirmations, daily songs, and The MarriedToMe Question of the Day, that always gets some very interesting and informative responses! Check us out and become a friend you will absolutely love it! You can also check out my profile as well:

http://www.facebook.com/MarleneDuperley?ref=profile#/MarleneDuperley?v=wall

http://www.facebook.com/pages/MarriedToMe/154542935023?ref=ts

Peace and continued Blessings,

Marlene

watch?v=Pke9gEZfJXk

WITH LOVE,

Marlene Duperley

COMMITMENT CONTRACT PRINCIPLES

1.    I promise to love myself despite my flaws. I see them only as being perfectly me.

What does this mean?

This means that you will accept your butt, your hips, your breast, your stomach, your legs, your arms, your feet, your hands, your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your ears, your hair, and most of all your skin color as being perfectly made and sculpted. It means that you choose to accept who you are in this very moment and cherish every inch of you!

2.   I promise to be true to myself and who I am in every situation.

What does this mean?

This means that you will not compromise your morals and values and all that you are for any material and/or carnal gain. For example you will not enter into any relationship that does not satisfy your moral and spiritual beliefs. This will eventually lead to a breakdown in who you are and create conflict that will only become a battle of right and wrong. Outcome…no winners! It will leave you feeling spiritually depleted.

Another example would be accepting more money and/or status that would lower your standard of happiness, time with your family and aid in the process of giving up your core desires. If a healthy balance cannot be reached then you and your loved ones will eventually lose!

3.   I promise to give myself a “Day of Indulgence” every month.

What does this mean?

First and foremost…YES, every month! Understand you are worthy of special set aside time to indulge in some well warranted me time. This could mean trying out a fabulous restaurant, a relaxing spa, that class you’ve always wanted to take or even finding a cool space on the beach to bring you serenity and peace to gather your soul. This is not about how much money you can spend as it is more about enriching your spirit. Do things you never thought you would do. Be adventurous, young and alive. This is your time, schedule it, own it and don’t let anybody take it away!

4.  I promise to always forgive myself and others even when it hurts.

What does this mean?

This means even in all your rightness, wrongness and agony you must find forgiveness in your heart to keep moving forward as a healthy loving person in your life, and in this world. This may be the toughest of all the principles but it can be the most rewarding. For the act of forgiveness can release bitterness, hate and negativity that your body has been harboring for years. It can be your resolve, your prescription for health, happiness and love. Remember your soul holds no judgments, no anger and no regrets…it’s only here to complete the journey.

5.   I promise to wake up everyday and say “I Love You” to the person in the mirror.

What does this mean?

This means that when you wake up in all your morning glory march straight to your mirror and say “I Love You”. This is the best time as there is no makeup, no curling irons, and no Manolos to fake you into saying these three little, most challenging words. Even if you don’t believe it fake until you do. There will be a time when you can honestly look at yourself and say….”I really Love You”.

6.  I promise to never let go of my dreams, passions, and desires.

What does this mean?

This means that every person has had some dream, has felt so passionate and full of desire about something they have wanted to accomplish in their lives….please don’t let this go!!!! Yes as we grow into adults there are some dreams that we might have had from childhood that may have to be altered in some way because of our choices in life and because what life has thrown at us. But that does not mean we cannot express those dreams in other forms. Hold on to them, as they are your reason for existence, happiness and ultimately your gift to the world!

7.   I promise to be encouraging to those around me whether it be in the form of a smile, a moment to listen, a kind word, or even a hug.

What does this mean?

This means that in our busy lives let’s not forget the moments we are given to make a difference in someone else’s life. Sometimes we think that involves saving the world but it could really mean just taking the time to share a story of encouragement to someone who is losing hope, to smile at a passerby because who knows what their day has been like or to just take a second to listen. We all need this at some time in our life and we should look at these moments as opportunities and blessings. We are given the power to heal and be healed!

The Law of Least Effort

The Law of Least Effort: Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease, with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.

I will put the Law of Least Effort into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:

I will practice acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.

Having accepted things as they are, I will take responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself.) I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit.

Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them.

LOVE

Thank you Deepak for your spiritual knowledge and understanding. This was so profound yet so simple in obtaining peace and acceptance of life, that I felt a need to re-post.

I also felt a need to say a few words myself regarding “The Law of Least Effort.”  I know in reading this, it may seem very difficult to follow, especially when we have so much going on in our daily lives. I have been challenged to follow this law because I seeked it out and did so, not even realizing it. Confusing right? This will happen to us in life when God is lovingly giving us that nudge towards the peace and understanding we so desperately crave. One thing basically led to another and there I was in the bookstore, on the web, searching for anything Deepak Chopra! Something in my spirit just knew this was more than just a conversation between friends but more of a magical wink from God for the guidance I yearned. When I came across “The Law of Least Effort” it stood out to me like a soar thumb. It just lined up so easily with what I needed to apply in my life to receive the outcome I was looking for. I have been looking for peace, serenity if you will, through the storms of my life, because I knew that the storms were only the stepping stones towards the greatness to come, but I needed to flow through these trials and tribulations with greater ease and less defensiveness. I began working on the process myself but God always knows when you need his grace and this was grace for me. I let go of trying to figure out what I already knew and when I did that the answers were so clear, situations that would normally stress me to no end, made me laugh, because they were so transparent and predictable.  Life will always have twist and turns and obstacles that we can’t control but our ability to handle the rides and our true resilience is what defines our faith and trust in God to see us through to the other side without losing who we are in the process.

Thanks for the wink!

Marlene

I am a person who wholeheartedly believes that in life you must stand on the truth in EVERY situation. Yes lovelies even those little white lies may as well be mountains of untruths in God’s eyes! So in knowing that, I have seriously made a conscious effort not to tell a lie for any reason, I rather deal fully with the consequences of my actions. I don’t know if this is just apart of growing up and becoming a responsible adult or if it is more that I want my life to look a certain way, and if I don’t make the decisions and choices that line up with how I want my life to look, how in the world will I ever get there?????!!!!! Hmmm, probably a combination of the two!

Since I have adopted this attitude and way of living, I have seen it play out in my life in such an incredible way. Remember standing on Gods truth is extremely difficult because it is not what you always believe is right, but it is more of what you “know” is right. That God conscience inside of you will pull your coattail real quick. Try it out. Take a moment after you make a decision to feel how your body responds. If you are coming from a complete place of truth you will feel a peace and satisfaction in your spirit, but if you are not and you are only satisfying your ego and your apetite for something to go your way, you will feel an uneasiness that will taunt your spirit. Here’s your test…will you be mature enough to make the necessary changes when you realize you are wrong? Or will you ignore the signs your conscience is sending you and do what a child would do? A child will know that they are wrong but do it anyway because they are acting out of selfish behavior and want what they want regardless of the circumstances. Remember children don’t know what the repercussions could be because they have not had enough life experience to see how crazy things can get. WHAT DO YOU DO????????????????

Here is your moment that will reveal who you are! It may very well be the defining moment of your character.

Do you remember some elder in your life whether it was your mom, dad, grandfather, etc, say to you “it’s not what a person says but what they do”? That truly is the basis of a person’s character. We have all at some point been in a state of anger, confusion, sadness and some sort of distress, where we have said things that were completely out of order, but what do you do? What does your walk look like? Can you let go of your pride and ego to be completely honest and repair the damage done?

One of the greatest challenges I have met with so far is when God spoke to me and said, “this will be one of the biggest fights of your life but you have to trust me and stand on the truth and never waiver from that regardless of what everyone around you is saying”. This was the battle regarding my son, which any real parent knows is one of the most emotional, heart wrenching situations you can be in. My instructions were to ALWAYS be truthful, keep my eyes on the prize(my son) and let other people do there own work. DO NOT DO SOMEONELSE’S WORK FOR THEM!!!!!! Well through much anguish and straight up confusion at times, I did it! The outcome was phenomenal! I basically just had to sit back and watch God maneuver people, places, times, events and all kinds of things for the greater good. Believe it was so frustrating for me when I just couldn’t see the moment and then that word would come to me about trusting him because I stood on the truth, and because I was obedient. It was so effortless. My life is still unfolding day to day regarding this matter but I will tell you that it is soooooooo much easier to operate from a place of   honesty and have that confidence that in Gods truth you cannot waiver or be persuaded to waiver. I actually love it!

Please remember this only works when this truth is completely void of ego, pride, selfishness and bitterness! It is born from love, free from ill motivation and constructed for the greater good. (GODS TRUTH)

People, I know the truth does hurt especially when you are telling it to yourself and have to take a good look at who you are. Sometimes we don’t like the person we have become but being honest is more than half the battle. Only then can you have the capability to be honest with others and be courageous enough to accept responsibility for your life and your decisions.

In closing let me just say that you may feel that you are doing someone a favor or being loving by withholding information but you are not. Not saying is right up there with lying. They are apart of the same family! Most of the time God is entrusting us with this info to see what we are going to do with it. Honesty does not have to be brutal, your delivery is just as important and so is your timing! When you are truthful it gives the other person an opportunity to make better choices and decisions, sometimes even life-altering decisions. Wouldn’t you want to know if your partner has a life threatening disease? HONESTY CAN SAVE LIVES!

I feel like more than ever, I walk in true spirituality. I feel closer to God than I ever have because I understand him more and I understand that weakness is really fear of truth!

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?

Marlene Duperley

Letting Go!

How many times have we heard someone say that or how often have we said it to ourselves? Not that easy is it? I had to examine in my life what letting go really meant. I mean seriously there are so many dynamics that come into play when you are in the position of needing to let something go. First, you have to identify what you need to let go of, how are you going to do it, are you ready, and most of all, when? Timing is everything so we of course want to make sure we are divinely on time, right? Please, my time surely didn’t match up with God’s time for me. I am absolutely sure that he has been holding blessings just waiting for me to clear my own path so he can deliver. I can’t even imagine the number of times God has turned my undesirable decisions into something so beautiful it probably made me believe I was right all along! NOT SO!!!! We feel in our guts, in our spirit, if you will, when something has run its course and we need to walk away. But we don’t. We stay longer than necessary hoping circumstances will change, people will change and miraculously life will be sweet.

I heard T.D. Jakes say this once and it just struck a chord with me, “If someone walks out of your life let them keep walking as they are not tied to your destiny.” I so believe that with my heart and I see it being played out in my life, and if you look closely enough you will probably see the same for yours.

Letting go means opening your heart, your path and your spirit to new experiences and to new people that are going to meet you on your conscious level. It allows you to see just where “YOU” are in life and what adjustments you need to make in order to have your blessings released or what adjustments you have made and how far you have come. Look around you right now, who are the people you call your close friends and who is that person you call your significant other? Remember we are attracted to people who on some level are thinking just like us and if there is something about them we are not diggin’ maybe we’re not diggin’ that about ourselves OR maybe this is that red flag that says “you can only get but so far with this person.”

I have to tell you since I have let go of some people, things, and certain beliefs, I have seen my blessings increase on so many levels. Sometimes we have to go into our closets and just get rid of the excess, and make room for the newness! Create a space where you live that breathes. Clutter will shut you down creatively and close your mind to free thought. Let it go! These last few months I have cleaned so much out of my space physically and in terms of energy, that I felt like it was a nonstop journey. But what is so crazy or not, is the most beautiful people have come into my life, words can’t even explain. They mirror my consciousness and spirit that allows for a continuous flow of happiness and laughter. The person I have always been!

How many times have we created beliefs for ourselves or even had certain beliefs forced on us through tradition that it doesn’t allow us to truly express who we are uniquely. I beat myself up time and time again emotionally and mentally for my life not working out the way I thought it should have. For example being in relationships that have failed and having children live without both parents in the household. I still believe this is the greatest foundation for children but only under healthy circumstances. I let my beliefs force me to stay in situations that would have never worked, now or at any time in the future because we were just different people in depth. Our values, morals and priorities didn’t match up, and that was the recipe for disaster. TRUST ME! I had to learn to trust who God made me to be and understand that was enough. I had to stop myself from trying to tap someone else’s potential. We all have the potential for greatness but that is your own work to be done. I would see someone and say “but they just have so much potential” and then spend years trying to help them reach it. How crazy is that? You know the saying you can lead a horse to water……well that is the truth and we have to do our own work a lot of the time.

Letting go can be so scary. It means living in a place of not knowing what is next, being alone, making huge changes that require discipline and fortitude. But it also means peace, serenity, happiness, destiny and dreams fulfilled. SO WORTH THE SACRIFICE!

Letting go can be beautiful!

What do you need to let go of today that will clear a path to your destiny? How much more time are you willing to put off blessings in your life?

For me? Anything in the way and not for one more second!

Much love,

Marlene

Hey Girls,

It’s me Marlene. I know over the past few months I have been writing a lot about my own life and some of my experiences to date. Some may ask, what does that have to do with married to me, but believe me it has a lot to do with it. I do this intentionally so you can read my stories and gather some insight into your own life or even if you are in similar situations, you can understand that you are not alone. No matter where you are from, your age, ethnicity or even spiritual beliefs, we all share similar life experiences and hopefully we can be a shoulder for others when needed.

You are beautiful, strong, intelligent, spiritual, a modern day goddess, bold, sexy, sassy, full of life, loved, courageous, powerful, intuitive, and so many more things I could run a list all day. There is no reason for you to put up with someone mistreating you in any way, shape or form. Verbal abuse is equally as bad as physical abuse. Anyone who puts you down and calls you names is so insecure, be assured that is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Remember a man that beats on a woman is just a punk that has issues with himself and women. No real man can ever feel good making his woman feel bad. BOTTOM LINE!!!!!! Look at the women around you that are in relationships. Take note of their appearance and I mean their entire appearance. What they are wearing? Could we nominate them for an episode of What Not to Wear? Do they look happy? What is their hair like? Is it done? How does their face look? Are they wearing make-up? Do they look aged and washed out or do they have a glow that exudes joy? Has their weight been a bit extreme? Rapidly gaining or losing weight? These are telltale signs if someone is being truly loved by their partner. A woman will always be a walking billboard of what she is receiving at home. If her man is uplifting her spirit, taking her needs and desires into consideration, helping with the household duties, children and finances and not leaving everything on her back, she will glow! If she does not, her partner is not lifting her up.

Ladies remember this is a two way street. You must do the same for your partner. They must go into the world feeling like they can take on any battle once they have left your arms. This is why it is so important to marry yourself first. Only when you know who you are can you have the ability to truly uplift another human being. You must learn your likes and dislikes, your abilities and inabilities, your limits, your dreams, your goals, your compromises and your unwilling compromises. What are your core values and morals? What will make you stay and what will send you through the door? All of this has to be in place before you enter into what you feel could be a long lasting, loving relationship that conveys the feeling of freedom.

Too many times we rush to the altar or to that convenient shared living arrangement that ends in ruins. Believe me I have done both things and just was not ready and neither were they. I settled for so much less than I was worth and only ended up compromising my dignity and everything I believed in.

The road back to yourself is quite a journey. It is a process of rebuilding your spirit from the ground up and it will probably be the most challenging experience in your life. You will be forced to look at your ugly self in the mirror and trust me we can get real ugly when we uncover our spirits. The bitterness and hurt, the sadness and anger that is uncovered can knock you to your knees SO PRAY and don’t give up. This experience, this challenge, will be the most rewarding. Everyone has grown up in a dysfunctional family and carries with them into adulthood memories of unfair treatment and abuse of the worse kind. But we have the power to claim that we will not be victim to our past. We can look inside and find the strength to uncover who God has made us to be and understand that this is all apart of the plan to fulfill our destiny.

Written with love, wisdom and understanding,

Marlene

BETRAYAL

be·tray    Audio Help   [bi-trey] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–verb (used with object)

1. to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty: Benedict Arnold betrayed his country.

2. to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling: to betray a trust.

3. to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to: to betray one’s friends.

4. to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence: to betray a secret.

5. to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal): Her nervousness betrays her insecurity.

6. to show or exhibit; reveal; disclose: an unfeeling remark that betrays his lack of concern.

7. to deceive, misguide, or corrupt: a young lawyer betrayed by political ambitions into irreparable folly.

8. to seduce and desert.

I had to resort to the dictionary for this one. We all have a pretty good idea of what the word betrayal means. But to see the physical definition serves me well as I unleash this verbal asswhipping! It’s funny that I have encountered people in my life that claim they have been betrayed. But according to the definition can one say they were?  What is your retribution? In receiving or giving?  Well I say stop playing victim. We have all in some way shape or form, fallen victim to circumstance, to a certain person, or just life. But your walk reveals your true resilience. I am so fed up and tired of people claiming to be betrayed when they have indeed been the betrayer. Desert when they are most needed, reveal when they are confided and disappoint when they are most expected. 

My ex now resorts to stealing pictures of my son off of my myspace page and places them on his to act like he has been present in his life. He sends his pictures around to his friends and family to fake interaction in his life and further encourage the character of victim.  I say for shame!!!! Shame on you that your shortcomings of fatherhood have led you to a lowness that can only reveal the truth to who you are. I feel sorry for the undeserving or deserving persons that have come into your midst and are surrounded by your falsehoods and insecurities. You have carried on a tradition of fatherlessness and expected your victim role to supercede the truth. I thank God that because of the unconsciousness of beings such as yourself he has placed witnesses in the alcoves to be a verbal sight to your indiscretions. I also thank God that I have been given the strength and entrusted by the Lord to be a parent and mother to my children.

This exposition is dedicated to all the single parents who sacrifice their life everyday to be a blessing to their children like God intended. And turn the true sense of being victimized into victory!

Love!

By: Bishop T.D Jakes

A hater is someone that is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.

They are very negative people. Nothing is ever good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters…

That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t

handle seeing you blessed…

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else…

If God wanted you to be like somebody else. He would have given you what He gave them. You don’t know what people have gone through to get what they have…

 The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don’t  know my story…

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too.  We’ve all got some haters among us.

 Some people don’t like it that you can:

 1.     Have a relationship with God

 2.     Light up a room when you walk in

 3.     Start your own business

 4.     Tell a man/woman to get lost (if he/she

 ain’t about the right thing)

 5.     Raise children without both parents being around and not ask for a dime from anyone

 6.     Haters don’t want to see you happy

 7.     Haters don’t want to see you succeed

 8.     Haters don’t want you to get the victory

 Most of our haters are people that are supposed to be on our side. How do you handle the haters who you at least expect to have your guard up against?

 You can handle your haters by:

 1.     Knowing who you are and who your true friends

 are (VERY IMPORTANT!!)

 2.     Having a purpose to your life

 3.     By remembering what you have is by divine

 prerogative and not human manipulation.  Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be

 unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God

 has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what

 others think about you. Fulfill your dreams!

 You only have one life to live…………….when its your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say,*

 I’ve lived my life and fulfilled my dreams,

 ………I’m ready to go HOME!

 When God gives you FAVOR, you can tell your haters,

 ‘Don’t look at me…    Look at who is in charge

of me…’

Thank you T.D. Jakes for reminding us of our purpose and power. We will all encounter haters in our lifetime and we need to also understand the importance of their existence. You are blessed and successful!

Marlene

My Dad…….

How do I see my dad…

He was always here as far as I knew. Came home drunk a few times, and gambled the house money away a few more times than that but he always was home. Probably wasn’t the best husband according to mama but was a good father according to me. Gave his last dollar, hugged us with the affection of God and protected us with the heart of a lion. A gentle giant, as he spoiled it for me, being the last gentlemen. I thought all men were like him so my guard was down as I entered the realm of dating. He never cursed in front of us, never raised his voice and cooked us dinner that could have come out of any kitchen of your favorite 5 star restaurant, then washed the dishes. I talked to him like my best friend and listened to his advice with my ear propped against the receiver. His wisdom became brighter the older I got and I realized how smart he really was as time went on. His kindness was always taken for weakness. A man loved by so many but in his time of need had so little. I learned that people love with their hands open to receive but never offering that hand to pull him up. Prostate cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure and a quadruple bypass later I still sit next to my dad and kick it. Bring his granddaughter and grandson to witness one of the last true gentlemen of his time maybe of ours and I shed tears as he tells me that he feels he doesn’t have much time left. I know life is not forever but in these moments I wish it was in this earthly realm sometimes and I pray for more days, more months and years so he can leave content that I am taken care of. All that a daddy wants for his child!

I love you Winston J. Duperley

Marlene