marriedtome

My Dad…….

How do I see my dad…

He was always here as far as I knew. Came home drunk a few times, and gambled the house money away a few more times than that but he always was home. Probably wasn’t the best husband according to mama but was a good father according to me. Gave his last dollar, hugged us with the affection of God and protected us with the heart of a lion. A gentle giant, as he spoiled it for me, being the last gentlemen. I thought all men were like him so my guard was down as I entered the realm of dating. He never cursed in front of us, never raised his voice and cooked us dinner that could have come out of any kitchen of your favorite 5 star restaurant, then washed the dishes. I talked to him like my best friend and listened to his advice with my ear propped against the receiver. His wisdom became brighter the older I got and I realized how smart he really was as time went on. His kindness was always taken for weakness. A man loved by so many but in his time of need had so little. I learned that people love with their hands open to receive but never offering that hand to pull him up. Prostate cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure and a quadruple bypass later I still sit next to my dad and kick it. Bring his granddaughter and grandson to witness one of the last true gentlemen of his time maybe of ours and I shed tears as he tells me that he feels he doesn’t have much time left. I know life is not forever but in these moments I wish it was in this earthly realm sometimes and I pray for more days, more months and years so he can leave content that I am taken care of. All that a daddy wants for his child!

I love you Winston J. Duperley

Marlene

Find a guy:



Who calls you beautiful instead of hot




Who calls you back when you hang up on him

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead


Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in are your sweats

Who holds your hand in front of his friends



Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you



Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, “that’s her”.

I loved this so much I wanted to post it and of course it inspired me to write a little about….

“WAIT”

He is coming, he is the man of your dreams, the one who satisfies your soul and stimulates the very places you ache and yearn. He is busy like you, living life, going through it girl and making his way home. The longer you put him off the longer he must put you off. Let him know in vibrations that you wish him well and pray for his protection and guidance. Write down the qualities he must acquire through his dilemmas, through his joy, and through his pain, in order to acquire you! Go to bed at night secure that you are on his mind because he is on yours, and awake thankful for another day that you are closer to meeting him. Eat well, have fun, take care of your body and spend time with your girls, enjoy the day and the night. Live in the lust for life, spend some money and save some too.JGet your finances tight and your home right, wear some fine threads but remember that your spirit is the first handshake, the first eye-sight. Learn your lessons well and NEVER regret, as who you become is the one he wants. Say goodbye to those that leave and master the art of “keep it moving”. Remember the saying “for a reason, for a season, for a lifetime” it will suit you well. And during it all remember to….WAIT, he is coming!

Love,

Marlene

I know this might be quite personal but the hell with it as I need to get this off my chest!

As most know I have a newborn that I am so overjoyed with. I feel my life has been blessed in degrees I have only known once before with the birth of my daughter. I see the beauty and miracle of life and all the sweetness and innocence it brings all over again. My God thank you, the love I feel for my children is so overwhelming to me I am often reduced to tears of joy. So I ask myself, how can someone just walk away from their child and act as if they do not exist but only on paper.

You see my ex walked out when our son was only 1 week and 2 days old. As I sat on the couch with the breast pump attached to my nipple and my stomach ripe from the scar and unbearable pain of a c-section, his exact words to me were “take care of the damn baby yourself, I’m outta here right now”. The scene really was something right out of a movie at least in my mind, because I could never believe that someone could be so cruel and this be real…I must be dreaming or at least waiting for the director to yell cut!

So here I am, baby in the left hand, breast pump in the right and staples holding my belly together, left to take care of my son, my daughter and myself by myself! Wondering at the same time in my delirium…hmmm can I start exercising yet so I can get my sexy backJ

The strength of a woman is unsurpassed!!!!! Don’t ever question that! I am living proof as well as countless women who have endured the most life altering, painful experiences one could never imagine possible. I always looked at my mom and wondered, where in the world does she get the energy to do what she does, now I know. It is this seed that is planted inside of us, I mean us women, by God. In order to be mother and I mean …to be Mother, not just to children, but to all of life and experiences, you have to bear that seed of strength. There is nothing I cannot do. The funny thing is I knew this before but I believe it now! It has been a month and a half since he left and has only shown once to date, unannounced I might add, to see his son. Because you have to remember some men believe that once you have a child with them they automatically gain an all access pass to your home, and to your life. Sorry but that pass was revoked when you left and now you MUST have scheduled appointments. Imagine me showing up at his place unannounced? Okay, you get it, so I do not even need to go any further.

So now I am labeled to his friends, family and anyone who will listen, as the bitch who will not let him see his child. Incredible!!!!

What do I do now? I pray a lot for love in my heart. WHY? Because it is too easy to harbor hate and bitterness right now. I pray for truth to come to light, and I pray for the weaker vessel to have God exposed in his life. Believe me this is no easy task but it is much easier than having someone change the essence of who God made me to be.

When those days of sadness try to surface, in that moment I look at my son and a complete sense of love washes through my heart. I look in his eyes, I look at my daughter and I look in the mirror and immediately I am shown the true success of life, of what it means to be prosperous and I look forward to the rest of what God had for me because I am courageous, unselfish and obedient.

THANK GOD!

Your Girl,

Marlene

I watch​ed a reall​y profo​und & painf​ully movin​g movie​ tonig​ht on HBO calle​d Life Suppo​rt stari​ng Queen​ Latif​ah & Evan Ross.​ I cried​ profu​sely throu​ghout​ the ENTIR​E film.​ I can imagi​ne how hard it must have been for the actor​s to portr​ay these​ chara​cters​ as it was for me to watch​ them.​To make is short​ & to the point​.​.​.​.​WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTE​R!​!​!​ Stop fucki​ng these​ degen​erate​ males​ witho​ut prote​ction​.​ Besid​es the possi​bilit​y of an unwan​ted pregn​ancy,​ you also have to deal with the possi​bilit​y of contr​actin​g HIV & AIDS!​!​!​ Ladie​s,​ who’​s life is worth​ more,​ YOU OR HIM? Think​ about​ that schit​t the next time some dude tells​ you he doesn​’​t want to use condo​ms,​ or he’s clean​ becau​se he looks​ clean​s,​ or if you are in a commi​tted relat​ionsh​ip BOTH of you need to be teste​d & show PROOF​!​!​!​ End of Story​.​ I am askin​g ALL of my fello​w lady myspa​cers and marriedtome bloggers to pledg​e from this day forwa​rd NOT to have anymo​re unpro​tecte​d sex. Don’​t conti​nue to put your life in the hands​ of someo​ne else.​TAKE CONTR​OL OF YOUR LIFE & TAKE CONTR​OL OF YOUR HEALT​H!​!​!​!​!  

I guess by now we have all heard about the most embarrassing antics of FORMER Governor Eliot Spitzer. You know the one who spent thousands of dollars on a prostitute while standing on his high horse shutting down Wall Street for the same practices. What a disgrace to NY, himself and most of all, his wife and three daughters. You know what really bothers me? Watching his wife stand next to him as if she feels she needs to be his pillar in such trying times. Have we lost our damn minds? What message are we sending our children and other women when we stand in support of such idiotic, selfish, and embarrassing behavior. My bad, but isn’t it 2008? I thought these were the times when women were strong enough and powerful enough to stand on their own two feet and walk away from such disgusting treatment. Instead as I watched in disgrace I could not imagine why she was not on a beach somewhere in the West Indies sipping margaritas while her lawyers filed the paperwork! Have we really traded our souls that much?

And now, during the aftermath all we see is this young prostitute who is labeled in the media as “the woman who brought the governor down”. Unbelievable! So SHE brought the Governor down. She twisted his arm, held a gun to his head and made him give her thousands of dollars because she so badly had to have sex with him, RIGHT…give me a break! Don’t get me wrong, I am not applauding her behavior, I do believe she is just as guilty and does not deserve to become some heroine for NY, but there is no way I believe she is responsible for his demise. HIS CHOICE, HIS ACTION, HIS BAG…OWN IT!!!!

So as I sit here writing this and watching it still run across the TV screen, I of course think about my own life. Do we have to wait until the guy messes up so bad, or until we get that tangible proof of his indiscretions before we take action? If you are like me, our intuition hits us up way before and the signs come along like highway postings, but more times then not we choose to ignore them because of denial, or we just don’t trust ourselves. I decided not to be embarrassed anymore.

Some moments of embarrassment:

When you are out with your man and he just has to look at her ass…that’s embarrassing!

When he creates arguments with you to have a night out…that’s embarrassing!

When you go to his myspace page and he has “dating” as his reason for being there….that’s embarrassing!

Or even worse blatant let’s hook up comments…really embarrassing!

When he all of a sudden is working late and taking long lunches…that’s embarrassing!

When you know what it all means and still stick around…even more embarrassing!

I am not here saying run, run, run! No man is perfect and no relationship will be. But look at what you are willing to give and be mindful that you are special enough to receive the same treatment. If you are willing to be honest expect honesty, if you are willing to be faithful expect faithfulness, if you are willing to be loving expect love!

Food for Thought!

Marlene

Don’t runaway, do not pick up that cellphone, shhh don’t say a word, do not get in your car and go over there, forget his passwords, just…be still! Probably the hardest most challenging thing we have ever been told to do. We are strong, independent, intelligent, not to mention so darn intuitive it makes me wonder is this a blessing or a curse some days, that we know the answers before the questions, but one of the most harmful things we do to ourselves is move when we are not supposed to. It’s when we let our ego and quest for control force us to make decisions too swiftly and then here we are back at square one or even further behind instead of leaps ahead where God intended us to be. Frustrating right!? Believe me I know, I have done it a million times. Even after I heard this voice in my head saying “no, just don’t do anything right now”, when all the signs around me were saying the same thing and I chose to ignore them. Not anymore, boy have I learned the hard way. Being still taught me my answers will come, justice will be fulfilled, and my decisions will be timely.  So, right now I am still because God said to be and I trust in that voice to be the greatest direction for my life. I trust that nothing I do could ever top what is to come if I remain obedient and just…BE STILL! 

From the conversation of 2 girlsfromBrooklyn,

Marlene and Imari  

Third trimester of pregnancy…I am at peace, living in serenity and feeling the joy of the miracle to come. You might say well she probably has a great marriage, is financially successful and living her dreams right now. Well I would say, not even close, except for living my dreams! Girls let me tell you at 6 months into my pregnancy my relationship basically fell apart, I was not working a steady job and had to wrap my head around the fact that I might once again be a single mother left to raise my son on my own like I did with my daughter. No easy task, as I am sure all you single moms out there already know. You know what’s funny I always wanted the dream wedding, the fantasy relationship and the miracle family but somehow it just never turned out that way, YET! I made decisions that strayed away from who I was as a person and ALWAYS paid dearly for them in the end. At this time in my life I have chosen to not only learn the lesson but understand that happiness is a choice and that everyone has their own journey. We truly cannot be judgmental and expect more than we can give. And most importantly we have to set values for ourselves before someone comes along and treats us like crap then we want to turn around and say “you can’t do that to me!”  I decided that no matter what, my joy would never be stolen even in the midst of the storm. I love my life, I know that I am truly blessed and feel my power, even when apart of me has every right to say “FU you idiot for making such selfish decisions and screwing up my life!” Of course this is hand in hand with screaming and hailing dishes across the room. Something we would never do again…right? Because life is short and so is beauty. Don’t give that away either!

I realize now that staying committed to myself allowed me to separate another person’s journey from my own and not take everything so personal even when it seems like our dreams are crashing in front of us. So here I am, still trying to work things out in my relationship, separate but together in child, and watching my stomach grow to the size of a small planet, but this time, with a huge smile in my heart because I have stayed true to myself the whole way. Not to mention, shopping my ass off for my son and picking up small goodies for myself because a little baby weight will never get me out of my fabulous red stilettos and black pencil skirt. Stay up sisters because we are awesomely fierce when we do not loose our power. And I so see that now!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for the after party;)

Much Love,

The Preggy Babe….

Marlene

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